Monday, June 07, 2004
Shore Throat News June 7th
TODAYS WEATHER:
The weather in Canker Shores was a chilly 58 degrees with light winds out of the southwest.
BUSINESS NEWS:
Unemployment numbers are down in Canker Shores, due largely to the sudden rise in demand for the rare coelaacanth fish which was recently discovered in large numbers feeding just a 1/4 mile off shore from the tiny tourist town. The Ancient Coelaacanth was previously thought to be extinct. The demand for canned, processed coelaacanth has given new life to the slumping local economy and processing plants have been hiring at an increasing rate since early in the second quarter. This has been both a blessing and a curse to the town of Canker Shores. The prevailing winds generally come out of the southwest, and the recent increase of fish processing activities and subsequent waste by-products, have brought a new pungency to the normally refreshing sea breezes floating into the town. If the current boom in fish product sales continues forecasters predict a poor year for local tourism.
AROUND THE TOWN:
National Holiday Observed:
I have been informed,
by Marv and Willa "Scabby" Gillespie,
owners of Scabby's Bakery, that today is National Donut Day. In honour of the holiday, Scabby's Bakery is giving away free Apple Cinnamon Donutz between 10am and 12noon.
Shocking Crime Spree Hits Canker Shores
In other local news, a crime spree hit the tiny town of Canker Shores, Monday June 7th between the hours of 10am and 12noon. Numerous businesses reported thefts and attempted robberies through out the town. Local business owners reported surprisingly tardy response times from patrolmen. Deputy Dave Hoofner commented briefly stating, "yeah, we'll check it out."
The extent of losses to local business has not yet been determined.
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